The Reluctant Twilighter

I can't believe I have a Twilight blog…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUTTONS!!! January 8, 2010

Ladies and gentleman, today is a very important day.  Today is the birthday of my dear friend Buttons!!  Buttons is not her real name, of course.  Every time I try to text her name the autotype function on my cell phone decides that I’m trying to talk sewing instead, hence a nickname was born.  I don’t really use this nickname much, but since this blog is all about anonymity, we’re going to use it today.

Let me tell you a little bit about my friend Buttons.  I have known Buttons for almost 15 years and she is the nicest, most caring, compassionate girl on the planet.  She is beautiful, hilarious, fun, affectionate, dedicated, hard-working, incredibly intelligent and an amazing listener.  One of the things I enjoy the most about Buttons is that she is the least judgmental person I know.  I can tell her anything, no matter how nerdy, gross, embarrassing, whatever and I know that she will never turn her back on me, will always be my best friend, and will probably even love me more for whatever I tell her.  My other favorite part about Buttons is her ability to obsess over something.  I love this because she’s exactly the same as me.  A lot of you may be the same way as well.  Once we get started on something, there’s no stopping us.  Through the years we’ve gone through all sorts of obsessions, from Green Day to NSync to Russell Crowe to Harry Potter and now Twilight.  Sharing these obsessions with her is the BEST and she is the reason I started this blog.  I still remember the day she told me over the phone that she had finally read Twilight and loved it.  It was so exciting to know that she was going to be with me on this.  Since then we’ve had an email Midnight Sun Book Club, smoked cigarettes (my first) while listening to Johnny Flynn (hoping that Rob would walk by at that very moment, being within 100 miles of Vancouver at the time), created our own unconventional “teams” (Team Six Pack, Team Green Sweater, Team Port Angeles, Team Creeper, and my favorite, Team Mike Newton’s Mom), taken a day trip to Forks (discussing every possible aspect of all four Twilight books along the way), and answered the age old question “If you were dying of cancer and could get a wish granted through the Make-A-Wish Foundation, what would your Twilight wish be?”

I can’t say it enough Buttons, I love you so much and am so thankful you are my friend.  SO!  What would you like for your birthday???  I have some ideas, I couldn’t pick just one, so you’re getting them all!  First, of course, just some nice pictures of Rob.  I know you like smiley, giggly, Rob, so I tried to pick out ones that best represent that side of him for you.  Like this one:

Also know you like babies, so I thought  you might enjoy this:

I’m actually kind of hoping you don’t like that because I think it’s weird and creepy.  Here, this is better:

Now since I’ve been gone for such a long time from this blog because I’m such a jerkface blogger, you may have missed out on some recent Twilight gems.  Which works well for me, because I this way I can call them “gifts” for you.  You like Disney movies, right?  Go here. (I know, I know, I still haven’t figured out how to put videos in here.  Jerkface blogger, I get it!)  Next, you need to see this. It’s a little boring at first, but then it gets real good and fun.  Now, what’s that Buttons?  For your birthday you want nothing more than a new Johnny Flynn song??  As you wish, my darling.  He just posted a new one on his myspace page for your birthday listening enjoyment.  I had to “do” a few “favors” for Johnny in order to get him to share this with us, I hope it’s worth it.  (j/k, even if you don’t like the song, it was totally worth it.)

And if that wasn’t enough, I have one last present for you.  Even though we’re besties and more importantly Twilight besties, I can’t remember if you are on Team Robsten or Team Nonsten.  But since you’re so sweet I’m going to assume it’s Robsten and therefore I have the best present ever for you.  Apparently, over the New Years holiday, Rob and Kristen were spotted on the Isle of Wight in England together.  It started with a couple pictures from a preteen girl:

And then another picture appeared that apparently shows Rob, Kristen, and the majority of the Britpack:

Here’s one without the writing if you want it:

I have no doubts that that’s Rob and Kristen, (and Tom Sturridge in the back to the right), but I’m not convinced about the rest.  They’re all so bundled up, looking like a hobo gang it’s hard to tell.  That’s not really the point though, is it?  The point is that Rob and Kristen are vacationing together, which to me, means they are in fact, a couple.  I know I’ve been very hesitant to believe in any of this without REAL proof, but I think we have it now.  I don’t know anyone else who vacations halfway across the world with their non-boyfriend buddy for the holidays, do you?  No, no, I didn’t think so.  So there you have it.  I’m officially declaring them a couple and officially declaring myself on Team Robsten.  BTW, there have been lots of other reports about this, like which bar/pub/beer garden they were at on New Year’s Eve, and about TomStu’s grandmother owning a house on this Isle of Wight, but it’s all hearsay and we’re better than that.

So I guess that just about does it…  One more time Buttons, I love you so much and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

PS I realize you may not read this until maybe tomorrow or even the next day or even the day after that.  But know that I did officially finish it on your birthday, so it still counts.  I LOVE YOU!  And so does Rob!

 

A Week In Review June 20, 2009

Filed under: Rob — reluctanttwilighter @ 2:36 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

This week was an interesting (and perilous) one for our dear friend Robert Pattinson.  Conveniently, I have some thoughts about the events that occurred:

 

Sad.First up we have some psycho fans mobbing him on the streets of New York while he’s trying to film his new movie.  I really don’t even know where to begin with this.  Let me start by saying that if I ever see one of those girls on the street I will have no choice but to punch them in the face.  (And don’t think I won’t remember you, because I will.  I have memorized all y’alls stupid faces.)  SERIOUSLY!?!?!  WHAT. THE. HELL???  I’m just trying to understand what they expected to accomplish during this mobbing.  Do they believe that as they’re being pinched and pulled away that he will suddenly look into their eyes and immediately stop being super uncomfortable and scared for his life?  That he’ll yell to his bodyguards, “Stop everything!  I simply must get to know this beautiful woman who just attacked me!  I think I might be falling in love with her!”  Weirdos.  You make me sick.

 

Then later in the week at yet another mobbing incident, he gets hit by a car!!  An NYC cab, to be exact.  Oh, poor Rob, look at what your life has become.  And yes, I know that Summit put out a statement that this had nothing to do his fans, but I don’t really buy that.  If it didn’t have anything to do with fans, than why wouldn’t his bodyguards realize that he was crossing the street without looking both ways first?  Isn’t it their job to keep him safe?  Listen bodyguards, that’s not just limited to squealing teenagers, that applies to oncoming traffic as well.  He’s British, he’s used to looking the opposite direction for cars!  He can’t possibly cross an intersection on his own, he needs your help!  Do your job!

 

Perhaps now would be a good time to propose my recent idea.  (I’m quite proud of it.)  The events of this week got me thinking…why are these bodyguards doing such a crap job of protecting poor little Rob?  I saw the pictures, they’re big strong men, what’s wrong with them?  I think I’ve figured it out though, the problem we have here is lack of dedication.  They don’t really care about Rob at all.  They’re just hired muscle trying to get through the day, slacking on the job just like everybody else.  I’m willing to bet that none of them a) have ever read Twilight OR b) think that Rob is super-dreamy.  They probably just resent him for make their job so difficult. 

 

So I propose that we get some new bodyguards.  Ones who actually care deeply about his well-being and safety.  Ones who would not hesitate to elbow any girl in the neck who tries to come near him.  Ones who would grab him from behind and hold him close if he happens to step out into the street too early.  (Oh, and PS, I’m nominating myself for this position.)    I may not have big muscles (or any muscles at all) but I’m pretty sure I could do a better job than the goons he has now.  I’m not sure that I could do it by myself though, anyone want to join me??  He needs people who, if given the chance, would experience an adrenaline rush (I know, I know.  Fine…”You can Google it.”  Happy now?) and take these girls OUT!  Who’s with me??? 

 

Get back ladies, or I'll pour this soda all over you!Lastly, (and most importantly I think) we saw…ROB IN SHORTS!!  Not since Goblet of Fire have we seen him in anything but skinny jeans and suits, so I found this to be a nice change of pace.  I’ll ignore the fact that he’s wearing long-sleeved flannel on a beach and just say that I approve of those skinny, white legs of his.  I look forward to the day when some skank-bag has attached herself to those legs, and I will pull her off by her hair, kicking her while she’s down shouting, “HE’S A HUMAN BEING!!!” 

 

That’s all for now friends, thanks again for visiting! 

 

 P.S. I do not actually think Rob’s bodyguards are doing a crap job and I appreciate their presence in his life.